Morningside Drive

18 September 09

20 Things NOT to say to a Chronically Ill Person

Filed under: Chronic Illness,Invisible Illness Week — by turtlemom3 @ 7:45 am

Kellia over at Kelliaellis’s Blog posted these, and I’m stealing them to get them wider coverage!!

These lists are compliments of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week at Get involved in Invisible Illness Week this year during the week of September 14-20, 2009, including the 5-day virtual conference online.

#1 You look so good today!

I disagree with this one. If I’ve expended the energy and the increased pain in my hands and arms to put on make up, than I want people to acknowledge my effort!

#2 You just need to get out of the house more.

#3 If you stop thinking about it, the pain will go away.

#4 You should just pray harder.

#5 You must not want to get better if you won’t try this… <juice, herb, exercise, etc>

#6 When I was your age I didn’t have the luxury of being sick.

#7 You’re sick again?

#8 I wish I could just sit around all day.

Hey! I’m working – running a business – from home, not just sitting around!

#9 No pain, no gain!

#10 I’d be sick too if I saw doctors as much as you do.

#11 I have this juice that is working wonders!

The last time I tried one of these “miracle juice cures,” I broke out in hives and had to use my rescue inhaler! No, thank you!

#12 You must still have sin in your life.

Doesn’t everyone? And my “sin level” is between me and God and my Confessor – you are not my judge!

#13 If you got a job you would have something else to think about.

I have several “jobs,” thankyouverymuch! I run my business, I take care of my husband, who has heart problems, and I am constantly available to about 80 or 100 people who need help on one level or another.

#14 Your illness is caused by stress.

Maybe, maybe not. But it’s interesting that it “runs in the family!” Did we all have uncontrolled stress??

#15 You cannot be in that much pain. Maybe you just want attention…

#16 What have you done to make God so mad at you?

My God doesn’t “get mad” at people and strike them with painful illnesses! We live in a fallen world. There is illness. I struggle and cope as well as I can, as does everyone else with chronic illness.

#17 There are easier ways to get attention.

There sure are! I’m a dynamic and interesting person with a high intellect and sharp observational powers. I don’t need this illness to get attention! I don’t want this! But I have it, and I strive to cope and to NOT impose on others any more than I absolutely must!

#18 It’s not good for your kids to always hear you whining.

They are learning compassion.

#19 When are you going to get rid of that cane?

When I “graduate” to a walker or a wheelchair!

#20 I’m so glad to see you out and about feeling all better.

Out-and-about, yes. But don’t assume I’m feeling “better!” Some things require going out – groceries have to be purchased every 7 – 10 days. there are doctor visits and vet visits and going to attorney offices for case conferences. I must “push” myself to do these, and frequently suffer for days afterward. Pain, stiffness, and overwhelming fatigue are going to take over my life for hours or days afterward. But I do go out, even when I do not feel better!

Thanks, Kellia!


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